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Staying Positive

posted 8 Dec 2013, 20:35 by Roxy
Hi all, 

I apologise foe not keeping up to date here is my explanation:

I try not to cross that personal/performer/business line however I felt this is necessary because performing is such a big part of my life beyond burlesque 

The past year has been full of ups and downs for myself, I can honestly say that while 2013 was horrific it was also full of amazing things. Due to circumstances that no-one could have predicted I will now have to put off attending AADA for another year, I'm not going to go in to details because I'm still in all honesty having I'm personally still dealing with it. I'm genuinely devastated I won't be moving in January but at least it's taken me a whole load of hard-work to get this far and I sure as fate will not be giving it up any time soon. I'm going to contact everyone who donated soon to let you know the details, however at the moment I'm really not ready to deal with it just yet.

I'll tell you one thing this process has done, has given me a proper "boot up the arse" in the words of Granny Stardust. I didn't think I could ever achieve an "acceptance" to this school let along be standing with the visa application in my hand, especially after this year, and yeah it's disappointing it's all going to take longer than originally planned, but it's going to happen and I'm okay with that, as this year I've achieved much more than I thought I ever could have and have really focused on improving myself as a performer, I've even started singing and even playing guitar again which I gave up doing many a moon ago purely because of self confidence.

So many people have been amazing and I can't thank those people enough, I know I've been hard to deal with at times, I've had alot going on and ya'll really have no idea about some of it, but I'm sitting here at the end of year and can see nothing but positivity on the horizon and really enjoying the direction my life is going, even though it can be mental at times, and surreal ( I shared bath tub with Lily Minogue earlier, pics coming soon)

For those who've not been so amazing and have been rude and nasty kindly please to go and take a run and jump , this whole process has truly opened my eyes, and to be honest if people want to gloat and be nasty then let them, they clearly have nothing better to do with there time. Myself having to wait is not a failure, it's merely an inconvenience, I got in to one of the best Drama schools out there were I've wanted to go my whole life and I'm incredibly proud. That means so much more than some dafty looking to make themselves feeling better by be littleing some one else behind there back... so aye....grow a set and grow up.

On the plus side I'll be headed back to the states for Summer hopefully with a detour to Japan to see Mr Andy Kellock and I'm working on so many projects just now to keep me busy . 

Finally I feel like I'm back to just being me, I didn't realise how much this year had affected me and how much strain I'd put myself under if I'd been smart all I needed to do was look in a mirror and see how tired and horrible I was looking, but tonight for the first time in god knows how long I'm going to go to bed and sleep a little bit better because I'm okay with were things are heading, and I'm okay with this delay, as I said before who wants to be skint in NYC any way, I genuinely can't see any reason to sit about and feel sorry for myself, except for an excuse to buy hunners of cake.

On that I'll leave you with this self indulgent song, which prob contradicts everything I've just said, but it pretty sums up everything I've felt over this who'll year, I'm not even ashamed of how egotistical it seems. I don't really talk about the things I'm really passionate about and despite my rants I'm not really an emotional person however I'm also not happy just settling for Okay, I will get to were I want to be even if it takes me my whole life, I'll do it.

Who wants to take the fast route and miss all the interesting scenery in between eh?

Now I'm going to eat chocolate, eat chocolate and edit picture of me and Miss Lily Minogue in the bath together ;)